Kids Fighting - Turn Around and Walking Away

How to Walk Away from a Fight with Your Child: Why It's Harder Than You Think

You’ve probably heard these words of advice before: “Just walk away when your child is trying to pull you into a fight.” And in fact, turning around and walking away is one of the most important things you can do as a parent to end power struggles with your kids. But what should you do when your child won’t let you walk away?

Consider these two scenarios:

You tell your 10-year-old daughter that she can’t have her friend over this Saturday and she is not happy. She begs and pleads, but you stand your ground. When she starts to escalate, you tell her you aren’t going to argue about it and you attempt to walk away. But then she comes unglued and starts crying hysterically. She tells you she hates you, then she grabs onto your arm, still pleading with you to change your mind. You know you need to get away, and you manage to make it to your bedroom and lock yourself inside. That’s when the screaming and banging on the door begin. You try to ignore it but eventually can’t take it anymore. You break down, open the door, completely lose your cool and scream at her.

When you walk away you “win”—and your child doesn’t want that to happen, so he will try almost anything to keep it going, whether it’s calling you names, throwing things, punching a hole in the wall, or slamming a door.

You pick your teen son up from school and inform him that his cell phone has been shut off for 24 hours because he was on the phone past his bedtime the night before. He unleashes a verbal assault on you and you tell him to stop. He demands that you turn his phone back on immediately, and when you stay silent, he blows up. He leans over and yells in your face while you’re holding onto the steering wheel of the car with white knuckles, trying to focus on getting home safely. When you continue to ignore him, he takes his cell phone and throws it as hard as he can into the back seat of the car. You can’t control yourself any longer so you yell at him and tell him he’s lost the phone for a month now. You pull into the driveway feeling horrible.

Why Your Child Wants to Pull You Back in

Disengaging is one of the best ways to stop power struggles from happening or arguments from continuing. But many kids—particularly defiant, oppositional ones—will follow their parents around, prolonging the argument. Why do they do this? When you walk away or stop participating in an argument, you send your child the message that you’re in control. Though they aren’t consciously aware of all of this, they feel the power shift from them to you, so if they can pull you back into the argument they can regain that control they lost. When you walk away you “win”—and they don’t want that to happen, so they will try almost anything to keep it going, whether it’s calling you names, throwing things, punching a hole in the wall, or slamming a door. If they can do something that gets you to react, they feel a whole lot better. And in many cases, they know that if they push all the right buttons, you just might give in to get relief from the torment.

There are several common scenarios we hear about on the Parental Support Line. Let’s take a look at each and talk about what to do.

1. You go to your room and your child follows you: Here’s the trick: Once you walk away, say no more. Lock the door and ride out the storm. If your child is screaming outside your door or pounding on it with all their might, ignore them. Do whatever you can to cope until they’ve calmed down. The second you turn that door knob to tell them to stop, you’ve given them what they wanted. Put on some headphones, turn up the TV, read a book, knit. Do whatever you have to do to focus your attention away from your child’s behavior. If they damage something or call you foul names while they’re pounding on your door, give them consequences afterward, when they’ve calmed down—and stick to them. In other words, ignore their attempts to pull you in when you’re disengaging from them, but hold them accountable for anything they damage (or rules they break) later.

2. Your child trashes her own room: If your child goes to her own room and starts to throw things around or screams at the top of her lungs about what a jerk you are or how much she hates you, let her. If she breaks something of her own, that’s a natural consequence. She will have to buy her own replacement or do some chores to earn the money to buy a new one. If she makes a mess of the room, she will have to clean it up later when things calm down. It’s more effective to focus on controlling yourself and your emotions rather than your child’s behavior.

3. An over-the-phone argument: If the argument is over the phone or via text message, tell your child that you’re done with the discussion and you will not reply anymore. Then, follow through. Turn the phone off, or unplug it if it’s a landline and get involved with something else. You can finish talking later when things are calm again.

4. When you’re in the car: This is one of the most difficult places to get into an argument with your child. The first rule is, pull over. You may not be able to walk away, but you might be able to step outside the car to get some fresh air if it’s safe to do so. Or, you can tell your child you’re not going to continue on until they calm down, because it’s not safe for you to drive while they’re verbally abusing you or acting disruptive. Then, find something to do that will help you cope. This might take some planning ahead, such as packing a book or magazine (or keeping something like that in your glove compartment) that you can pull out and use in these cases.

5. You can’t walk away because you’re busy: Let’s say, for example, that you‘re cooking dinner. Set one limit with your child and then do what you can to focus your attention on the task at hand, not your child. Avoid eye contact and ignore comments he makes under his breath. Find some sort of mental task to occupy your mind, such as counting or singing a song to yourself in your head. If you have a relatively compliant child who will go to his room when asked, you can tell him to do so, but if your child is like most, he will refuse. Since you can’t make him go, the best thing to do is not pay attention to him. The key is to avoid giving his behavior any power. Control what you can—yourself.

6. Your child blocks you or clings to you: This is perhaps the most difficult situation to find yourself in when you try to walk away. It’s very important that you stay calm, use a normal tone of voice, and tell your child this behavior is not okay, while redirecting them to go do something to calm down. They’re probably going to stick around, though—at least at first. Continue to remain calm and wait it out. Yes, this might mean that you literally stand there and wait. You could also let your child know that they need to stop or there will be a consequence later. If your child is not blocking your path, try your best to go about your business—do the dishes, read a book, or surf the internet. The goal is to find some sort of task to focus on so your attention is not on your child’s behavior.

SEE MORE AT: http://www.empoweringparents.com/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child.php?utm_medium=email&utm_source=email11292011NX

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/
http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/
http://www.YourWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Family Fun, Women's Self Defense, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention, Workplace violence,School Violence, Summer Camp, Excellences, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Personal Achievement.

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

Are Young Girls Dressing Too Revealingly?

Among pint-sized cheerleaders, itty-bitty beauty queens, and in the malls of America, the sassy-sexy look isn't just for teens anymore.

Some say younger girls are going shorter and barer -- taking their cues from characters like the Cheetah Girls, the Pussycat Dolls and the Bratz dolls -- and some observers are saying they've had enough.

Celia Rivenbark, a mom who hit her breaking point with the shrinking fashions, wrote a book called, "Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank."

"The moms are buying it, the dads are buying and maybe on some level the parents think, 'Oh that's cute, that's harmless, that's innocent' -- but I don't think it is," Rivenbank said. "The children are wearing them down."

And psychologist Dr. Jeff Gardere warns that how a child dresses as young as age three can have serious consequences.

-------

I first heard about Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank by Celia Rivenbark on Good Morning America….  It created quite a stir, as everyone passed around their “bad parents and monstrous children” horror stories. With the conversations circulating, as well as it’s hilarious-but-shocking title, I knew I wanted to read this book.

When it arrived in the mail, I cracked open the book and just glanced at the title of the first chapter: There’s Always Tomorrow(land): “If You Really Loved Me, You’d Buy Me Pal Mickey”. The chapter’s about Celia planning and taking her family to Disney World. Before I realized it, I was at the end of the chapter, ripped envelope still in my lap, and bladder barely holding its ground after all the laughter. The whole book is like that, and you just about have to tear the book from your hands to put it down to make dinner, sleep or even go to the bathroom (okay, I admit it… Celia went there, too).

With the charm of a Southern Belle, and a snarky, sarcastic wit, Miss Celia expresses all that it is to be a mother/wife/career woman/person with the sense God gave a goose in this day and age. She tells of her experience trying to buy size 7 clothes for her six-year-old, and only finding outfits that’d make a Vegas showgirl feel naked. Later, she points out that grown women in character-embossed clothes need to grow up, which points out the Topsy-turvy nature of the American culture today: Children dressing like sexually mature adults and grown-ups dressing like school kids at play.

Each chapter’s title both encompasses its contents, while being surprising and tongue-in-cheek. A few examples of this are:

Yo Yo Yo! Where Can a Sista Get a Cowgirl Outfit?: Holidays Make This Mama Wanna Get in Your Grille

Weary Mom to Uppity Teens: At Least I Know Where the Continent of Chile Is
Field Trip, Fornification, and a Shit-Eating Giraffe: Who Says School Can’t Be Fun?
Montel’s Smoking Weed: (But Will He Share With Sylvia the Psychic?)
Reality Bites: Super Skanks Lewinsky and Hilton Are Fun to Watch, but Those 100-Pound Toddlers Rule!
The Butcher’s Great, the Baker’s Suffering: But How Is the Anti-Carb Frenzy Affecting the Candlestick Maker?
The Paradoxical Male: Smart Enough to Find “Me Time,” but Dumb Enough to Get Stuck Buying the Tampons
If It Ain’t On eBay, It Ain’t Worth Having: (Whoa! Is That Willie Nelson’s Face in Your Grits?)
Politicians Serve Up McValues: (With Extra Cheese on the Side)

Amidst the humor and anecdotes, Rivenbark manages to slip in facts and evidence that support her position, but you’re too busy laughing and enjoying her company to realize “Hey, there’s serious journalism going on here!”

http://thekoolaidmom.wordpress.com/2009/04/30/stop-dressing-your-six-year-old-like-a-skank-by-celia-rivenbank/

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=3781279&page=1

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/
http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/
http://www.YourWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Family Fun, Women's Self Defense, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention, Workplace violence,School Violence, Summer Camp, Excellences, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Personal Achievement.

What are you thankful for?

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving is today,  "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" ..... I think it's important to take a "GRATITUDE INVENTORY".... A number of things in life can make us uncomfortable or even a little miffed..... But sometimes they are gifts in disguise.... With that in mind, here some things I am thankful for...

Disappointment - So I know the things that matter the most… Fears – So I know there is an opportunity for growth… Pain – So I can become a stronger person…. Sadness – To appreciate the spectrum of human emotions… Happiness – So I can soak in the beauty of life... The Sun - For bringing in light and beauty to this world… Sunset – For a beautiful sight to end the day…. Moon and Stars - For brightening up the night sky….. And for having the ability to expression my emotions, even if sometimes it brings a tear to my eye…

And… You…. Yes… You… For being who you are… and touching the world with your presence… for being alive and being a part of my life…. For giving me the chance to touch your life even in the smallest way… this allows me to fulfill my purpose of helping others… You are a reason to be thankful. Thank you for being you…

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/60-things-to-be-grateful-for-in-life/

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/
http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/
http://www.YourWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Family Fun, Women's Self Defense, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention, Workplace violence,School Violence, Summer Camp, Excellences, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Personal Achievement.

Holiday Mail for Heroes

 Holiday Mail for Heroes

Program Overview

The holiday season is just around the corner and it’s time again for another “Act of Kindness.”  This year Goshin Karate & Judo Academy would like to be part of the 2011 American Red Cross Holiday Mail for Heroes… This is a way to send a touch of home this holiday season to members of our U.S. military, veterans and their families, many of whom will be far away from home this holiday season.

Starting today, Goshin Karate & Judo Academy is working with Red Cross to collect and distribute holiday cards to American service members, veterans and their families in the United States and around the world.

The process is simple and takes no time at all..... All you need is a pen and a Goshin “Good Job” note. Take a minute and share your appreciation for the members of our Armed Forces and as our "Act of Kindness" Goshin Karate will pay the postage…

Sending a “touch of home” to American men and women who serve our country is the perfect way to express your appreciation and support during the holiday season.

Card Guidelines:
Every card received will be screened for hazardous materials by Pitney Bowes and then reviewed by Red Cross volunteers working around the country.
Please observe the following guidelines to ensure a quick reviewing process:

• All cards being sent in for 2011 Holiday Mail For Heroes program should be postmarked no later than Wednesday, December 7, 2011.
• Ensure that all cards are signed.
• Do not include email or home addresses on the cards, as the program is not meant to foster pen pal relationships.
• We encourage participants to mail as many cards as they are comfortable sending.
• Please refrain from sending holiday cards with glitter. Many of these cards will be delivered to military and veterans medical facilities and the glitter could interfere with a patient's recovery

http://www.redcross.org/holidaymail
See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi
Goshin Karate and Judo Academy
6245 E. Bell Road #120
Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/
http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/ 

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/  - Women's Self Defense Classes
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

 SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.

"Legends of Awesomeness" arrives in Scottsdale Arizona

Fans of the hit Kung Fu Panda franchise will be thrilled to learn that in November, Nickelodeon and Dream Works Animation will be premiering a series called Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness!

Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness (also known as Kung Fu Panda: The Series or simply Legends of Awesomeness) tells the continuing adventures of Po as he trains, protects, fights, teaches, learns, stumbles, talks too much, and geeks out as the newest hero in the Valley of Peace. Now living in the barracks with the Furious Five, Po will have to take on his many new responsibilities, his many new adversaries, and his many old pounds in the continuing adventures of the Dragon Warrior. And kick some serious boo-tay.

See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi
Goshin Karate and Judo Academy
6245 E. Bell Road #120
Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/
http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/ 

   Holiday Sale "ENDS"  November 22nd

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

 SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmz_he0Td3w&feature=related

Holiday Mail for Heroes

Holiday Mail for Heroes Program Overview

The holiday season is just around the corner and it’s time again to start thinking about being part of the 2011 American Red Cross Holiday Mail for Heroes. For a fifth year, American Red Cross and Pitney Bowes are partnering to ensure all Americans have an opportunity to send a touch of home this holiday season to members of our U.S. military, veterans and their families, many of whom will be far away from home this holiday season.

Starting this fall and throughout the holiday season, the Red Cross is working with Pitney Bowes, a mail stream technology company, to collect and distribute holiday cards to American service members, veterans and their families in the United States and around the world.

The process is very simple and takes no time at all - All you need is a pen and piece of paper to share your appreciation for the sacrifices members of the U.S. Armed Forces make to protect our freedoms The Holiday Mail for Heroes mail box is open and ready to receive for your cards. Please send all mail to:

Holiday Mail For Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456

Sending a “touch of home” to American men and women who serve our country is the perfect way to express your appreciation and support during the holiday season.

Card Guidelines:
Every card received will be screened for hazardous materials by Pitney Bowes and then reviewed by Red Cross volunteers working around the country.
Please observe the following guidelines to ensure a quick reviewing process:

• All cards being sent in for 2011 Holiday Mail For Heroes program should be postmarked no later than Friday, December 9, 2011.
• Ensure that all cards are signed.
• Use generic salutations such as “Dear Service Member.” Cards addressed to specific individuals can not be delivered through this program.
• Only cards are being accepted. Do not send letters.
• Do not include email or home addresses on the cards, as the program is not meant to foster pen pal relationships.
• Do not include inserts of any kind, including photos, as these items will be removed during the reviewing process.
• We encourage participants to mail as many cards as they are comfortable sending. If you are mailing a large quantity, please bundle the cards and place them in large mailing envelopes or use a flat rate box from the post office. Each card does not need its own envelope, as cards will be removed from all envelopes before distribution.
• Please refrain from sending holiday cards with glitter. Many of these cards will be delivered to military and veterans medical facilities and the glitter could interfere with a patient's recovery

http://www.redcross.org/holidaymail

WITH THE HOLIDAYS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER..... When filling out your Christmas cards this year, take ONE CARD and SEND it to this address...... Holiday Mail For Heroes
P.O. Box 5456 - Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456 ..... If we pass this on and everyone sends one card..... think of how many cards these soldiers could get to bring up their spirits! .......This is a wonderful thing to do!! ...... I'll be sending one, how about YOU?...

See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi
Goshin Karate and Judo Academy
6245 E. Bell Road #120
Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/
http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/  - Holiday Sale end this weekend

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

 SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.

Karate Kids learn Dojo Rules

The Seven Rules of the Dojo

I'd like to share with you some insight in regard to lineage and the old (traditional) ways associated with joining a Dojo (school). In the past, students used to write to an instructor asking for training and swearing an oath of dedication, a pledge of sorts.

Historically, all schools had pledges or oaths that governed students, set the tone for the seriousness of training and bonded them through traditional obligations.

Upon entering the Dojo (school) you swore allegiance to your Sensei, and all those who trained before you. You became as bound to your fellow students as you were to your own family. The blood in your veins may not be the same, but the honor that fuels your heart forges you as one.

In ancient times, these oaths were considered blood oaths and were often signed in blood. In many of the written requests to train, the requesting student included a curse to fall upon him/her if he failed to meet his obligation.

Some sects even used tattoos or marks to show their pledge as an expression of individual dedication to their given Dojo, a life-long reminder of their personal bond. As time marched forward, these practices faded and were replaced with either no pledge or lesser means of obligation.

The purpose of this information is not to instill newfound dedication, but to share with you the level of seriousness that was historically taken during training.

It is important to measure history and find lessons that it offers. Without the past, there is no present and without tomorrow, there isn't any future.

I found an old set of Dojo Rules…   (These are not practiced at Goshin Karate and Judo Academy in Scottsdale Arizona) but I thought was an interesting and worth sharing….  

A Traditional Karate Dojo Pledge - Seven Rules of the Dojo

Each rule is read out loud by the highest ranking Student (Senpai). After each reading, the students Rei (bow) and say ‘Hai, Sensei.’

One • Loyalty

 Upon acceptance into this Dojo, I Pledge my Loyalty, for the remainder of my life, to stand steadfast next to my martial brothers & sisters in both good and bad (dangerous) times.

Two • Honor

 I pledge only to bring honor to the Dojo through my words, actions and deeds.

Three • Duty

 I accept this obligation with open heart, I will support the Dojo with all I have and by any means I can.

Four • Dedication

 To Self and the greater good of the Dojo, I will focus and understand the importance of time wasted and time well-spent. I Pledge to devote my energies to strive to grow as an individual and become a source of knowledge. With this dedication I assure my growth as a martial artist.

Five • Respect

 I Pledge to demonstrate at all time respect for myself, others and the Dojo, No matter the cost, I will remain humble, grounded and respectful, this is the honorable way.

Six • Obligation

 I accept and understand the martial debt I carry and the burden it can sometimes bring. It is with honor that I will shoulder this obligation and act accordingly to the Dojo Kun.

Seven • Secrecy

 I Pledge to keep the techniques of the Dojo safe and secret from those outside our walls. I will only teach others with the authorization of my Sensei.

Written by......  Kevin Bonner -  Gulf Coast Karate MS

See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/ 
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.

Give a man a fish

The Orginal 
“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”—Author unknown

This is an adage I've heard many times, and very much agree with. Although not through usage of this adage (but through other means), it is something my mother imparted on me many many times.

Obviously, the meaning of this adage is not just about fish.... The meaning I get from this adage is that it is better to know how to do something for yourself, than to be dependent on others to do it for you.

Now this does not say that you always have to do all your tasks yourself. But it does say you should know how to do it (in case you ever need to do it yourself).

For example, you do not have to cook every single of your meals yourself; but you should know how to cook. You do not have to fix your car yourself, every time there is a problem; but you should know how to do the repair and maintenance work yourself, in case you ever need to.

Others Variations I found 

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you will not have to listen to his incessant whining about how hungry he is.”—Author unknown

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you can sell him fishing equipment.”—Author unknown

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.”—Author unknown

“Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi—then you also have to teach him to cook.”—Auren Hoffman, Herald Philosopher

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in the boat and drink beer all day."

One more.... 

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to sell fish and he eats steak.”—Author unknown

http://www.amatecon.com/fish.html

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/ 
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Family Fun,  Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Excellences, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.

What Is Courage?

 

What Is Courage?

One who is smart enough to be afraid... but take action anyways...

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain

Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne

Courage is not something that comes from flying to your heart in moments of need or in emergencies. Courage is not something that can be handed over to you through lessons either.

Courage is a way of life. It is as much a habit as anything else. Like getting up and brushing your teeth in the morning, or drinking coffee.

It’s a matter of routine more than anything else. People tend to speak of courage only in terms of deeds. For instance, they might speak of courage in the battlefield. Soldiers and policemen are supposed to show courage. Or they might refer to courage in the face of devastation. Flood-affected people or earthquake victims must show courage.

However, courage is not merely the name you can give to your putting up with a bad situation. After all, in a bad situation, there is not much one can do expect cope with whatever strength and forbearance you can muster.

But though we don’t notice it, a lot of courage is part of our routines. The man who gets into a blocked sewer shows courage. The man who tills the land, not knowing whether he will have a good monsoon shows courage. The woman who resists the temptation to lavish goodies on her children shows courage. The child who breaks a leg on the football field but goes back to the game later shows courage. The student who is bent on following his dreams shows courage.

The real test of courage is in our daily lives. Or should be.

The courage to speak the truth. All the time. Because lies are the biggest and most obvious sort of cowardice that all of us hide behind.

The courage to speak our mind and not stay silent, simply because we are afraid that other people might not agree with us. Of course, there will be conflicting views. And of course, conflict is unpleasant. But not speaking your mind can lead to much worse unpleasantness.

The courage to stand up for what we believe in. The courage to follow public rules and laws and insist that other people follow them too. The courage to resist those who take easy ways out, which only leads to more corruption and red tape in our social systems.

Mark Twain has said, Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

The sign of a courageous person, then, is someone who is feels, fear, recognizes fear and still goes on to do what he or she believes is right.


http://www.indianchild.com/character/courage.htm


See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/ 
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.

Quotes by Bruce Lee

QUOTES BY BRUCE LEE

“Memorizing and regurgitating Bruce Lee’s
 words does not increase one’s intelligence.

However, adapting his thoughts for one’s
 own actions gives life to his words.

Linda Lee Cadwell

“Martial arts, like any art, is an unrestricted athletic expression of an individual soul.”

A good fight should be like a small play, but played seriously. A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, I do not hit. It hits all by itself.

"Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."

Opponent: "What's your style?"
Bruce Lee's Response: "I call it , the art of fighting without fighting"

"a kick is a kick and a punch is a punch..."

“Today, your sidekick became a tool to unlock a spiritual gate. There was spiritual loosening along with physical losening, a sort of unconcerned immersion in oneself. The original sense of freedom was there. Congratulations! The sidekick took the place of the ego.”

"With emotional content, not anger!"

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”

“All martial arts is simply an honest expression of one’s body – with a lot of deception in between.”

“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”

“Simplicity of expression rather than complexity of form.” (written about sparring)

“Turn your sparring into play – but always play seriously.”

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

“A quality martial artist is always ready for any move, and trains oneself invincible.”

“To tell the truth, I could beat anybody in the world.”

“If I tell you I’m good, you’ll say that I’m boasting. But if I tell you I’m not good, you’ll know I’m lying.”

“I personally do not believe in the word style. Why? Because, unless there are human beings with three arms and four legs, unless we have another group of human beings that are structually different from us, there can be no different style of fighting.”

.“More and more I believe in the fact that you have two hands and two legs, and the thing is how to make good use of yourself – and that’s about it.”

“Use karate, judo, aikido, or any style to build your counter-offensive. It will be interesting!”

“To be bound by traditional martial art style or styles is the way of the mindless, enslaved martial artist. But to be inspired by the traditional martial art and to achieve further heights is the way of genius.”

“using no way as a way, using no limitations as a limitation.”

“Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.”

“As you think, so shall you become.”

“You will never get any more out of this life than you expect.”

“I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.”

“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you”

“Simplicity is the key to brilliance”

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

“Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.”

"A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer."
“Forget about winning and losing, forget about pride and pain”

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not you go out and look for a successfull personality an duplicate it.”

“Let an opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let an opponent smash into your flesh and youfracture his bone; let an opponent fracture your bone and you take his life! Do not be concerned with your escaping safely; lay your life before him!”

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”

“Real living is living for others.”

"Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.”

“As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.”

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”

“The possession of anything begins in the mind”

“Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.”

“If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

"To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”

“When there is freedom from mechanical conditioning, there is simplicity. The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow - you are not understanding yourself.”

“I am not teaching you anything. I just help you to exlplore yourself”

“The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”

“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”

"Obey the principles without being bound by them.”

“There’s only one basic principle of self-defense: you must apply the most effective weapon, as soon as possible, to the most vulnerable target.”

“If your opponent is at a distance, kick him in the groin. If he gets close, poke him in the eyes, bring up your knee, pop him with an elbow, dig a corkscrew punch to his stomach.”

“If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you”

“An intelligent mind is an inquiring mind. It is not satisfied with explanation, with conclusions. Nor is it a mind that believes, because belief is again another form of conclusion.”

“It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

“To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.”

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.”

“"To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person."”

“Let the spirit out - Discard all thoughts of reward, all hopes of praise and fears of blame, all awareness of one's bodily self. And, finally closing the avenues of sense perception, let the spirit out, as it will.”

"We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we create"

"Its like a finger pointing to the moon (slap) don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all of that heavenly Glory!"

"Board don't hit back!"

"Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle.

"Like a cobra, your strike should be felt before it is seen."

"A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard."

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it ... becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."

"Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system."

"knowing is not enough, we must apply, and willing is not enough, we must do!"

“Students should learn something new each class, but one or two new actions are enough for one session. Each lesson should reward the student with pleasure, satisfaction of achievement, and the sense of vigorous, joyous movement.”

“The three most difficult things in life are: 1. To keep a secret. 2. To forget an injury. 3. To make good use of leisure.”

http://www.usadojo.com/articles/quotes/bruce-lee-quotes.htm

See you in Class.

Mr. Roger Boggs - Renshi

Goshin Karate and Judo Academy

6245 E. Bell Road #120

Scottsdale, AZ. 85254
480-951-2236

http://www.GoshinKarate.com/

http://www.GoshinCares.com/

http://www.GoshinGirls.com/
http://www.GoshinGear.com/

http://www.YoureWorthDefending.com/ 
http://GoshinKarate.blogspot.com/

Providing AWARD WINNING Instruction/Lessons in Martial Arts, Self Defense, Judo, Jujitsu, MMA and Karate, for Kids, Teens and Adults in the Cave Creek, Phoenix, Scottsdale and the entire north valley of Arizona since 1991.

SAME LOCATION FOR 20 YEARS

Scottsdale Arizona, Karate Kids, Phoenix Arizona, Taekwondo, , Ju-jitsu / Jiu-jitsu, Grappling, Kickboxing, Hapkido, Judo, Kung Fu, Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Leadership, Escrima, Black Belts School, Kali Arnis, Wushu, Aikido, Judo, Kempo / Kenpo, Yoga, TaiChi, Self Defense Training, Practical Street Defense, Fitness, Family Fun, Stranger Danger, Bully Busting, Self Esteem. Acts of Kindness, Bully Prevention Seminars, Excellences,Workplace violence, Child Development, School Violence, Summer Camp, Personal Training, Executive Self Defense, Boxing, Cave Creek Arizona, Weapons, Extreme Martial Arts (XMA), Black Belt Training, Women's Self Defense, Personal Achievement.